“Dickheads” in East London

The type of guy you'd expect to find in East London.

London has a few areas where young people live, and when I moved there, the areas were Camden, Hoxton/Shoreditch, Notting Hill and its surroundings, Soho, or South London. Camden was full of rockers and Hoxton and Shoreditch (East London) was inhabited by people with assymetrical haircuts who were only employed as graphics designers or freelance stylists. There used to be a term (referencing the main street in the Hoxton area,) “Webshite on Old Street” which summed up what most people there did. Notting Hill was for wealthy kids, and bankers, Soho was for wealthy people who don’t mind a lot of noise, gay people, or wealthy gay people, and South London was just plain old dodgy and should be avoided at all costs. I managed to live in London for a full year before I crossed south of the river, the exceptions being my many trips to Waterloo station to get the Eurostar to Paris.

I think the word Shoreditch Twat comes to mind here.

Hipsters love two-toned hair.

I wonder if those are glasses, or flasses?

Anyway, I always hated going out in East London. The people hanging out there were so pretentious. Camden was full of drunk, stumbling idiots, whereas East London was full of pretentious drunk idiots. I’d rather have the former. East London was very difficult to access because it had no tube stations, so you had to get the bus, and since I lived in North London, there were very few buses that went from Camden to Old street. We always used to joke that there should be a Camden – East London express on weekends, for all the trendies going out in each other’s neighbourhoods. Plus, East London is full of ugly industrial buildings, unlike the Georgian townhouses in Camden, and there are no bank machines. Well, there are like one or two, but they are always a hundred miles away from the crappy bar you are in, and by the way the bar only takes cash.

So when I saw this video about the Hipters in East London, I was thrilled. Finally someone is properly taking the piss out of all the “trendy” people who live there. Fashion Editor At Large also wrote a great post about the video and the East London types. I guess most cities have neighbourhoods like that. In Vancouver, it is Main street, where everyone thinks they live in London and wears weirdly unfashionable clothing, but not in a good way, and have strange, trendy haircuts. (Sorry to all my Main street readers, some of you are genuinely cool!)

You must watch this video with the sound on! Another term, that makes me nostalgic, is Shoreditch Twat, described by the Urban Dictionary as

Usually a new media, fashion student, photographer-type person with a privileged digital or old school arts background who lives/works/socialises in London’s East End area of Shoreditch.

This look is just scary.

Skirts are for girls and hooves are for animals.

Even a 12 year old girl would look lame carrying that bag.

Here is what I loathe about ‘Hipster Dickeads…”

  • Their haircuts. Usually asymmetrical in some way, often two-toned. Hipster guys spend a LOT of time on their hair to make it look like they just rolled out of bed. And nowadays dying it grey is seen as cool. Maybe they should start wearing fake wrinkles too?
  • Wearing flasses. Flasses are fake glasses. I wear glasses because I NEED them. How would people feel if I started pushing myself around in a wheelchair, just for fun?
  • The fact that vintage clothing has become totally overpriced because of hipsters coveting loads of old crap.
  • Agyness Deyn.
  • Living in strange warehouse spaces, or “live work spaces” with barely any amenities or proper mod cons but somehow thinking that is cool. Last time I checked, it is not cool to be freezing in the winter, and have no walls between you and your roommate.
  • Hanging out in old man’s venues in the middle of nowhere. Bethnal Green Working Man’s club is a great example. An old, crappy venue about half an hour’s walk from a tube station. Totally inaccessible, and virtually no taxis nearby when you want to leave.
  • The fact that hipsters all seem to think they are stylists, and therefore have devalued the role of the stylist
  • Other things that they have overdone and therefore have ruined for the rest of us: playing records, riding old fashioned bicycles, longboards, facial hair, and cardigans.

Is that a girl or a guy?

Do-it-yourself creative t-shirt knots that add 15 pounds. Probably do-it-yourself pink hair too.

Where is the hipster/dickhead area of your city?

All images from Street Peeper.

This entry was posted in Opinion, Travel & Events and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.
  • bonsai

    Rui, you name-dropped through your whole comment, how apt. I’ve lived in East London for 15 years and it used to be great. It isn’t anymore. I agree with Alexandra on this one. It’s also in no way cheap to live there. Just ask all the locals who had to move out or shut-down because someone wanted a crap bar there. Ther is the odd gem still in East London but it wont be long till the ‘scenesters’ ruin that as well. Katie

  • tristan hazell

    He’s the prosthetic aesthetic
    the artificial hip
    the coolest thing to hit the town
    since granny took a trip.
    He is the London Fields creative
    the Hoxton neo-native
    the ultimate self-oblative
    hip hip hip hip hip.

    He is ironically moustachio’d
    wearing comical pistachio
    drainpipe trousers and a pork pie hat
    He knows full well
    that he’s not where it is
    if he’s not where it’s at
    He is the pastiche fantastiche
    is cooldom uber alles
    likes erzatz Piazzolla pizza jazz
    and avant garde French ballets.

    He is he is he is he is
    he is he is
    he is

    Hip hip hip hip hip hooray.

    He is he is he is


  • hk

    I live down east london (born here) and I have to say that I agree with most of what the article has said about it. I think these pretentious people also represent to most (in east london who are poor) a class issue. Most of them are rich, middle – class kids who do look down on the teens who happen to not have £60 to spend on some granny cardigan thus they are looked down upon for wearing a primark top. Its funny how many of them represent themselves as liberal minded and have socialist badges plastered upon them but hey if you don’t look like them then they won’t dare to say hi or even crack a smile.

    Shoreditch is over rated; it can’t call itself diverse and cultural through its art when really it’s all rich, white middle – class. Have you seen the art recently? It’s terrible. Most of the anger from many about them isn’t about how they look but really what they represent – that of driving away the working class, young people of working class away from the streets they used to call home and then being looked down upon by them for not looking ‘street’ enough. Funny really.

  • alexandrasuhnerisenberg

    Nice to hear from a local who shares my opinions! Sorry about the trendy gentrification that’s happened to your hood.