Loathe: OnePiece

Any email that uses the title “SPRING’S HOTTEST FASHION SENSATION” usually means there is bad news inside. Then, “Starting in 2007, three hung-over Norwegians had the idea to…” is also an indicator of trouble ahead… I love Norwegians and I love Scandinavian design, but I just wouldn’t trust hungover Norwegians to come up with brilliant ideas… So when I saw the the item otherwise known as “SPRING’S HOTTEST FASHION SENSATION” is in fact a hooded sweatshirt and a pair of jogging pants sewn together with a zipper down the front, I knew my instincts were right.

OnePiece, Uggs, Slanket, loungewear

OnePiece: The unsexiest loungewear in the entire world.

The OnePiece is in fact a giant onesie for adults. I am not a big fan of onesies for anyone over the age of two. And this one is not even fit for purpose. I mean, if you are hungover, I can totally understand wanting to be all wrapped up and cosy, but wouldn’t it defeat the purpose of being cosy if you had to strip down every time you have to go to the toilet? Or are there “holes” which would prevent you exposing yourself to the elements (which can be quite cold, even indoors, during a Norwegian winter)? That is even worse.

Apparently Jude Law, Sarah Jessica Parker, Matthew Broderick, Angela Bassett, Loretta Devine, Katy Perry, Russell Brand, and Perez Hilton all have one of these. Well I am sorry, but I don’t take fashion cues from any of the celebrities above.

OnePiece, Uggs, Slanket, loungewear

Who needs a bikini, or even summer clothes when hanging out at the lake? Let's just wear a giant rompersuit instead. And yes, I tend to chat on my cell phone whilst sitting on rocks in the lake, wearing a onesie.

They also boast about a “3-page feature” in The Guardian. I had to check this out, as The Guardian is my bible, but in fact, the article doesn’t exactly PRAISE the OnePiece, in fact, its tagline “But can a man dressed like a toddler ever be taken seriously?” sums up their opinion on this giant rompersuit. The press release ended with this quote: “Not since the UGG boot has a loungewear trend skyrocketed with such intensity.” Well, I never got excited about Uggs, and certainly won’t get excited by OnePiece.

OnePiece, Uggs, Slanket, loungewear

Copying American Apparel imagery will not help to sell more OnePieces. At least American Apparel makes some clothes that could look sexy on the right person. OnePiece can't look sexy on anyone.

(By the way, apparently Harrods is selling them. I think we all need to boycott Harrods for a while…)

Oh yes, and can someone warn the good folks at Slanket that they’d better watch their backs… There is some serious competition afoot…

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