5 Reasons why Side Boob is not Cool

I read recently in The Guardian (great for news, not so great for fashion) that “side cleavage” was making a comeback. First of all, you may be more familiar with the term “side boob” (a term made popular by the master of taste and etiquette, Peter Griffin) and I’m here to tell you, it’s not cool. Here’s why.

1. It is hard to have a nice side boob. I mean, you need to have a good sized breast, but obviously not too large, which makes a really nice shape when you are exposing a little bit from a side angle. This is tough. Very few women have a nice side boob.

2. There’s no tools to help improve your side boob. Wonderbras, Spanx, special bras, tape… none of these items can help with side boob. And who doesn’t like to have a little secret to help enhance their assets?

3. Side boob draws attention to the armpit. Find me one person who has a nice arm pit. I dare you. On that note, at least side boob prevents armpit muffin top. But that’s not a good enough reason for me.

4. It is hard to control coverage or exposure of side boob. It just isn’t an area where clothing, or lack thereof, allows for much control or positioning. That means you could have an accident, and rather than side boob, you just have boob. That’s no good.

5. If Family Guy has made a joke about a trend, then its not cool anymore. And Peter Griffin did a great piece on side boob. Which is why, none of us should be sporting side boob anytime in the near future.

p.s. Beaches are an exception, side boob is fine while wearing swimwear.

p.p.s. Doesn’t this post highlight how screwed up the fashion industry is? I mean, people are dying in Syria and the economy in Europe is screwed, and The Guardian is talking about side boob? And then I’m dedicating articles to that, too? I don’t know whether to laugh or cry.

Images from Sideboob.org. Yes, that is a real site. But it has porn pop ups, so try and avoid it.