I know I am in for a fun surprise when I get an email from a company called Footzyrolls with the subject line:
“Hottest shoes seen on runways across the world!”
My first thought were, what runways? Because they surely could not have been referring to the fashion catwalk shows I review here on this site. Last time I checked, Prada, Lanvin, and Marc Jacobs weren’t dressing their models in Footzyrolls for their runway shows (although Marc Jacobs could have possibly opted for them, that would have been much nicer than the hideous buckled monstrosities we saw in his last show.)
The email got better as I opened it. Apparently, Footzyrolls is “The ultra compact, fashion forward flat has been featured in the hit TV series Gossip Girl, Sex and the City, and Rachel Zoe’s Jet Set Summer Guide. Spotted wearing Footzyrolls, celebrities such as: Beyonce, Blake Lively, Kim Kardashian, Kristen Bell, and Rihanna.”
Wow. I guess I am going to have to run out and get myself a pair, since Kim Kardashian and Rachel Zoe are fans.
To top it all off, the shoes themselves are hideous. Sure, I can appreciate the practicality of a rollable, foldable flat shoe that can easily be tucked into a purse. But that does not mean I am going to accept one that comes in disgusting colours, with gross embellishments, and that is made out of a bizarre pleather that I refuse to allow near my feet. Sorry, Footzyrolls, you’re not cool, you’re not hot, and you’ll never make it onto my feet.