There’s nothing I love more than discovering a new fashion
product gem that has a made up name ending with a “Z.” Not nearly as absurd at Sagz, yet much more ridiculous than cordoroy jeanz, Tukz is the latest useless invention to grace the world of fashion.
The premise is this: when you tuck your shirt in, sometimes it creeps back out. So Tukz has devised a pair of men’s underwear that “are equipped with four elastic straps and clips used to secure shirts neatly into place.” Basically, it is an upside-down garter belt for men, attached to a cheap pair of underwear.
I’ve worn shirts tucked in before, I am sure most of you have. Do you find those shirts trying to sneak out an un-tuck themselves? Does that happen so frequently that you’d need them to be attached to your underwear? Is it that big a problem, that you’d rather unhook your shirt before going to the bathroom, and then re-hook them after you’ve done your business, instead of just re-tucking in your shirt before leaving the toilet? There are FOUR hooks on Tukz, and I can’t imagine it is very easy, practical, or quick to try and re-clip your shirt to your underwear every time you drop your pants?
All these questions lead me to believe that the creator of Tukz have not really thought this through. And given that they are made from polyester (gross) and cost thirty bucks a pop, I don’t think this is a big winner. They claim there is a patent pending, but I’d like to save them the time and money it takes to get a patent approved, and suggest they quit now. I am sure most of us would appreciate the convenience of not having our shirts un-tuck themselves, but I am pretty sure the hassle of having to re-hook your shirt to FOUR “ergonomic” clips cancels out the convenience of having a neatly placed shirt.
Thank you, Tukz founders, you’ve inspired me to patent my new concept, BELTZ, a belt that sits at the waist and prevents muffin top. Complete with sixteen convenient clips, BELTZ will attach to your bra and underwear and smooth out your middle. BELTZ only takes five minutes to put on and take off, adding mere minutes to your bathroom trips. Available in plaid, denim, and a Kardashian-endorsed leopard print.
P.s. What a man is getting romantic with a woman, and he undresses to a pair of Tukz? Does she run away screaming? Or perhaps she doesn’t care, because she is wearing crotchless bicycle shorts from Spanx?