I suppose if Gwyneth Paltrow was one of my clients and she constantly talked about me on her (addictive) newsletter Goop, then I too would try and capitalize on it by growing my business in every which way possible. That would not, however, include a collection of bumster leggings. Celebrity fitness guru Tracy Anderson claims that her clients come in with Spanx-like clothing on to work out, and that the body needs to be able to jiggle around, so she has launched these EXTREMELY low waisted workout pants. These are scarily low, and will most likely induce massive plumber’s butt paranoia during exercise. I’d be afraid to bend down, and that’s usually an integral part of exercise. I’m all for Brazilian bikini waxes, but I don’t feel anyone should be forced into one so that they can wear a pair of stretchy tartan capris.
In fact, these are so low that I am not even sure you can wear underwear with them. I also think that having your ass and stomach jiggling around during exercise is both distracting and probably not great for the skin (isn’t that one of the reasons people wear bras?) The irony here is that only Tracy Anderson devotees are going to be able to get away with wearing these leggings. Anyone who really NEEDS her help will be such an eyesore in these groin-revealing pants that they are likely to be banned from entering her trendy workout studios. It seems that we have to face some tough choices these days when dressing for exercise: have the world see your privates while you downward dog, or have the world see your belly and ass crack while you try and get a Gwyneth Paltrow body. Let’s just crack open a bag of Cheezies.