The Metropolitan Museum of Art’s spring show is entitled PUNK: Chaos to Couture, but don’t get excited. It isn’t about vintage punk clothing, it is about punk’s impact on high fashion. Which pretty much sums up the mood on the red carpet at last night’s gala, lots of fancy, overdressed people trying to add a bit of punk to their outfit (along with a lot of people who completely ignored the punk theme.) The worst part of the red carpet was probably the (failed) attempts at punk makeup and hairdos, worn with super fancy gowns. If you are going to try and do punk, do it. If not, don’t bother. Because a half ass attempt looks really bad.
(And as usual, I had to massively edit the number of red carpet looks I featured here – so I chose what I thought to be the really good ones and the really bad ones. The rest can be seen on The Cut.)
Christina Ricci in Vivienne Westwood. Although I’m uttelry bored of Westwood’s corset gowns because she does them EVERY SINGLE SEASON, given her association to punk, someone had to wear one at this party. And Ricci wore it well.
Anja Rubik in Anthony Vaccarello. She looks hot.
Carey Mulligan in Balenciaga. The perfect little cut outs and a nice detail at the neck, this is ultra chic.
Florence Welch in Givenchy. This is very her.
Gisele Bundchen in Anthony Vaccarello. He is in charge of putting the models into super sexy outfits, and he is doing it well.
Gwyneth Paltrow in Valentino. Best part? We won’t have to hear about bikini lines or side butt or whatever.
Karolina Kurkova in Mary Katrantzou. A bit punky and a bit interesting.
Katy Perry in Dolce & Gabbana. This dress was clearly made for her.
Madonna in Givenchy. I’m so over her dressing like a teenager, but at least she attempted the punk thing.
Rooney Mara in Givenchy. Has this woman ever looked bad?
Sienna Miller in Burberry. I like her hair, and I like the studded jacket over white gown. It suits her, and its the perfect nod to the evening’s theme.
Anna Wintour in Chanel. There is nothing wrong with this outfit – she pretty much always looks good – but could she have not at least done something punk-y? A diamante safety pin? A black dress? A raw edge?
Alexa Chung in Erdem. She looks like she is wearing rags, and not in a cool, punk way.
Anne Hathaway in Valentino. Where do I start? The side boob? The see-through dress? The horrible hair? The terrible eye makeup?
Beyonce in Givenchy. This is too much: too much boob, too much train, and too much pizzazz. Chill out, lady.
Chloe Sevigny in Proenza Schouler. I’m sad to say it, but she looks old and fat.
Kim Kardashian in Givenchy. Speaking of fat, I don’t want to be the mean one dissing the pregnant woman, but it goes without saying that wearing a print like this, when you are the biggest you have been in your entire life, is a MAJOR NO-NO. Pregnant or not, this is NOT OK.
Donatelle Versace in (you guessed it) Versace. Donatella, stop dressing like a sexy twenty year old. ‘Cause you’re not one!
Elle Fanning in Rodarte. This is a punk exhibition, not a hippy tye-dyed exhibition. And by the way, that makeup looks ridiculous.
Emma Watson in Prabal Guring. Blah…. And can someone please teach her how to pose for the red carpet?
January Jones in Chanel. This would be totally fine but the makeup HAS TO GO!!!!
Katie Holmes in Calvin Klein. Prissy face, stupid hair, giant wedding gown train, and side boob are not a great combination.
Kristen Stewart in Stella McCartney. The most unflattering pant suit, ever.
Mary Kate Olsen in Chanel Couture and vintage Balmain. She looks like a homeless person.
Miley Cyrus in Marc Jacobs. She sort of looks naked, and sort of looks idiotic.
Sofia Coppola in Marc Jacobs. Another major Marc Jacobs disaster, forcing your friend to wear cheap looking shiny pajamas on the red carpet.
Nicole Ritchie in Topshop. She looks like an alien!!!!
Images from The Cut.