I’m never one to miss an opportunity to criticize Agyness Deyn, so here’s my review of NAAG, her new online magazine: boring. It is a shopping page meets Daily Candy. Although, if I am perfectly honest, it’s probably not such a bad thing to be friends with Aggy, as she makes sure that all of her friends and family get on her tacky bandwagon. First it was Henry Holland, whose hideous collections we have to stomach season after season because he…is friends with Aggy. Then it’s her sister’s t-shirt collaboration with Uniqlo. Now it is a online magazine with her friend Fiona.

The above image (tacky collage might better describe it) is from their “Who we are” page. Does anyone want to take fashion advice from girls who wear plain tees, denim cut-offs, and hideous shoes? Personally, I’d rather have Anna Wintour tell me what to wear, at least she has an impressive wardrobe.

Who’d like to suggest Aggy’s next friend/family collaboration? How about an ugly underwear collection in partnership with her Dad? Or a collection of books, written with her first grade English teacher? She’s already been in a band, but maybe she could start another one…fronting it with a bunch of skinny English boys she has slept with? Any other ideas?

Agyness Deyn (left) and her sister, wearing the Uniqlo t-shirts. Notice Aggy is standing in a weird, crooked pose, and sporting a very ugly haircut.

I am not a fan of Agyness Deyn, I don’t think she is pretty, and most of the photos I’ve seen of her look the same. She’s got an ugly haircut, she’s standing in a weird, crooked way, and her mouth is hanging open. So I was pretty relieved when she eventually fell out of favour…

But I read today that according to Modelinia, Aggy’s sister has launched a line of t-shirts for Uniqlo. Who is her sister? Is she an artist, or fashion designer? Well, she has been “creating” t-shirts with her best friend for some time…although I don’t think that gives her the credibility to be a designer for Uniqlo. As sick as I am of the I’m-a-relative-of-a-famous-person phenomenon, the thing that disgusts me the most here, is that it is Uniqlo, one of my favourite fast fashion brands, engaging the sister of a past-her-sell-by-date model to design ugly t-shirts. It’s bad enough that Agyness Deyn has helped propel Henry Holland to fashion fame (hopefully he too is falling out of favour) but now we have to deal with her sister as well. Did Jil Sander have any say in this? I hope not.

I don’t discuss denim much on this blog, although, like most people I’m sure, it plays a very important part in my wardrobe. I don’t really do designer denim, I have yet to understand why one needs to spend $300 on a pair of jeans, when you can get a perfectly good pair for $50 or $100. I have a couple pairs of Lee Jeans I really like, and the last pair I bought was from Uniqlo, which are great, and very cheap. I will definitely be spending some time at Uniqlo when I am in London in March.

There’s been a couple of announcements of denim collaborations in recent weeks, including Vivienne Westwood with Lee, and Henry Holland with Levi’s.

Some of my Vivienne Westwood jewelry.

I had a very, very bad experience in the Vivienne Westwood store in London a few years ago, which resulted in me writing a nasty letter to them highlighting the fact that their customer service sucks, and the response from their retail manager was basically “tough shit.” So I will never shop at Vivienne Westwood again, even though I have tons of the jewelry, which I still wear, and have recently been given some more of the jewelry as a gift, which I also love. (I do think her collections are a bit boring, she did a whole bunch of cool things a long time ago, the pirate boot, the platform shoe, the corset, the big pouffy satin ballgown, and the amazing tailored suit, and she hasn’t really evolved since then. Her fashion shows almost all look the same.)

Vivienne Westwood catwalk looks. From left to right: Spring Summer 2006, Autumn Winter 2007, and Autumn Winter 2008. They all look the same. Images from Style.com

Vivienne Westwood Anglomania brand is collaborating with Lee jeans, and according to WWD, “the debut collection for fall will launch to buyers next month, and will include styles such as superskinny jeans and microshorts for women, along with bondage jeans and skinny jeans for men. Washes will run from indigo denim to metallic gold- and copper-colored denim to denim printed with a trompe l’oeil lace design.” If the collaboration is half as good as her ongoing Melissa shoes collaboration, then I am sure we can expect great things. But I won’t be buying it.

Amazing rubber shoes. Vivienne Westwood Anglomania for Melissa. Images from Melissaplasticdreams.com

The other denim project announced was Henry Holland’s collection for Levi’s. I have never met someone working in the fashion industry in London that didn’t think Henry Holland’s collections were a complete joke. His original slogan t-shirts were cool and catchy, but his attempt to turn them into a full on fashion collection were a complete and utter failure, which only captured media attention because Agyness Deyn was his very close friend and used to model his shows. One day when I write a post about models, perhaps I will be able to express my disdain for Agyness Deyn, the one-trick-pony model with terrible poses and who never closes her mouth. But today is about jeans.

The slogan tees were a bit tacky too, but they have their place in fashion history.

I think Sarah Mower summed up Henry Holland’s last catwalk collection quite well on Style.com, by describing it as “a presentation with very little substance and plenty of ironically tacky clothes that are actually genuinely tacky, too (how else to describe tangerine lace?)… he’s a one-man self-marketing wiz who instinctively knows how to brand himself (the quiff, the glasses, the Agy, the cheeky northern wit) and is now using his runway chiefly to display his collaborations with other companies.”

Why did Levi's have to hire Henry Holland to make these jeans look ugly?

Well, his collection for Levi’s is no better. In fact, I think it looks tacky like the rest of his stuff. You can tell he is not a designer.  I’m very bored of Henry Holland, and I wish he would go away.

More ways to ruin a perfectly good Levi's jean jacket, by Henry Holland.

Levi’s by Henry Holland images source.

There are a lot of things I miss about the UK (and a lot of things I don’t!) but one thing I defintely long for is the newspaper supplements.

For those of you that don’t know about how UK newspapers work, I’ll give you a bit of background info. The UK is pretty unique in that it has four daily broadsheet newspapers (and that’s not counting at least six crappy daily tabloid newspapers.)  They are The Times, The Guardian, The Independant, and The Telegraph. I think the high number of papers has to do with its dense population. The newspaper you read says a lot about the person you are, and you generally don’t read a newspaper that doesn’t match your political views or opinions. The only exception to this rule is the supplements.

The supplements are the lovely little magazines that come free with the newspapers on Saturdays or Sundays. The magazines have various subjects, some are focused on current affairs, others are mini fashion magazines, and you also get monthly music or food supplements. They are great little publications, short and easy to read, and better than most fashion magazines.

From left to right: Guardian Weekend Magazine, Observer Woman Magazine, The Telegraph's Stella Magazine and The Sunday Times Style Supplement.

Anyway, I miss those little magazines, and was very excited when my cousin came back from London a few weeks ago, and brought me a whole pile of supplement magazines. In fact, I have been reading them slowly, so I can savour and enjoy them. (Even though some are as old as September. Whatever, it’s still new to me.)

ES Magazine (a weekly magazine that comes with the Evening Standard newspaper on Fridays) had a London Best Dressed list, and I thought it was worth a mention. These were the 20 women on their list.

1. Freida Pinto
2. Sienna Miller
3. Dasha Zhukova
4. Rosie Huttington-Whiteley
5. Jemima Khan
6. Sam Taylor-Wood
7. Natalia Vodianova
8. Kate Moss
9. Thandie Newton
10. Stella McCartney
11. Julia Restoin-Roitfeld
12. Lily Donaldson
13. Agyness Deyn
14. Tilda Swinton
15. Emma Watson
16. Peaches Geldof
17. Daphne Guinness
18. Alice Dellal
19. Andrea Riseborough
20. Alexa Chung

I didn’t quite understand this list, its obviously not just English people, as as far as I know not just people who live in London, because I thought Julia Restoin-Roitfeld lived in New York. Anyway, here are my comments…

1st PLACE Frieda Pinto, actress. She is fabulous. Even though I thought Slumdog Millionaire was overrated, and I am disgusted to see that some of the child stars from the film are still living in slums, she always looks great and totally deserves this. Image source.

2nd PLACE Sienna Miller, actress and now fashion designer. Boring, she was fashionable five years ago when we were boho. She hasn’t changed her look, isn’t exactly what we call inspiring, and although maybe deserves a spot on this list, not a top spot. Image source.

3rd PLACE Dasha Zhukova, editor of Pop magazine. Yes, she looks good, but is it hard to dress well when your boyfriend is a Russian bazillionaire? With that much money, there is no excuse. Image source left and right.

8th PLACE Kate Moss, model. She deserves some sort of hall of fame spot for dressing well, but I haven’t seen her do anything interesting in the last year. In fact, poor thing, she is getting old, and I’m afraid she may be just not be as exciting as she used to be. Image source.

11th PLACE Julia Restoin-Roitfeld, daughter of famous person. How hard is it to dress well if your Mom (Carine Roitfeld, editor of French Vogue) is one of the best dressed women in the world, and probably gets free clothes from all the good luxury brands? I feel sorry for Carine’s kids, it would be hard to be in the shadow of a mother like that. Both are trying to do things, but since neither has a real job (or formal training as far as I know) they both look like they are “Carine’s kids doing fashion stuff.” Image source right and left with her mother and brother.

13th PLACE Agyness Deyn, model. Well, she definitely has her own style, but as far as I am concerned, its terrible. Image source left and right.

14th PLACE Tilda Swinton, actress. Thank you Tilda for not being predictable, for not wearing makeup and for being so un-Hollywood and so fabulous. Image source, left and right.

15th PLACE Emma Watson, actress. I am bored of her too. She always looks nice, yes, but I imagine she has never put together her own outfit, so I don’t think she deserves any style awards just yet. Its hard to dress badly when you are given piles of free Burberry and Chanel. Maybe when she is out of her teens and begins to get her own personal style… This Youtube video from the Burberry channel makes her look a bit flaky and not very smart. I can’t comment on her acting skills since I don’t watch wizard movies that aren’t full of good looking guys (Lord of the Rings vs Harry Potter.) Image source.

I laughed so hard when I read this text.

16th PLACE Pixie Geldof, daughter of famous person. This is wrong, so wrong, and I think this image and comment from Go Fug Yourself sums is all up.

17th PLACE Daphne Guinness, heiress. Fabulous, I love her, and here’s an example of a filthy rich woman who buys fantastic clothing and has amazing personal style. There aren’t many of those. Image source.