State of Undress lingerie. Photo by Owen Dakin.

I was sitting outside my work yesterday trying to take in as much sun as possible before I began my lecture. I’ve become obsessed with the sun, not necessarily being suntanned, but the wonderful feeling on sun on my skin. I didn’t use to be like this, I used to be very anti-sun and pale. I began to think about when I switched over from being a sun-avoider to sun-worshipper. It took me a while to remember when and why I had converted, and then it dawned on me… I began to tan after having to wear a bikini in front of 750,000 people.

This is a great story about anyone who has thought about starting their own business…and wanting to stay “behind the scenes.” It is very tough to do…

State of Undress nightwear. Photo by Vanessa Ellis.

I used to have a luxury lingerie company, State of Undress (which is a long story for another day,) that was based out of London and founded with a fellow Canadian, Emma. We were fortunate enough to have a fantastic PR agency who, at the time, was generating a huge amount of media exposure for us, including Vogue and Sunday Times Style. It was 2006, and we had just launched a very small swimwear collection, thanks to a generous sponsorship, and our PR had secured an amazing story in one of London’s best magazines…but there was a catch.

ES Magazine is a style magazine that comes free with the Evening Standard newspaper in London. 750,000 Londoners read it every Friday, so it was great that they wanted to feature us in a story about new swimwear designers. The problem was, the feature included a photoshoot of the designers WEARING their swimwear designs. Immediately I said NO. I’ve seen a Victoria’s Secret catalogue, and I know I am no where near being fit enough to pose in a swimsuit for any publication. But Emma was not letting me get out of this. “If you don’t do it, I will” she said. That’s when I knew I was screwed.

ES Magazine cover, the issue of our feature.

Emma and I were both far from being model size, but we could have squeezed ourselves into one of the samples. The difference was, I was much smaller in the bust department, which meant squeezing my size 8 body into a size 4 swimsuit would have looked slightly less… “stuffed” than Emma, given that I wouldn’t have been overflowing out of the bikini top (only the bikini bottoms…)

I had no choice. One of us was going to be in that magazine, and Emma and I both knew I was the better option. The worst part was that I didn’t have months, or weeks to prepare for the photoshoot. I had days. Four, to be exact.

I called my friend Oonagh, one of the only people I knew who went to a gym, (this was London, where a workout consists of walking to the pub, instead of taking a taxi.) “If I join a gym and go every day for the next four days, how much weight can I lose?” Oonagh said “Not much. Two pounds. Maybe three.” This was not good news. So I decided on the next best option, four days of starvation until the photoshoot.

And that is when fake tan came into my life. Emma always says that tanned fat = muscle, so I went out and bought myself a tube of fake tan and applied it religiously over the next four days. In the coming days, I got so many compliments about my tanned skin, I decided it was for keeps.

Shoot day came, and I was thrilled to find out that the photographer was a woman, and the other girls were just as nervous as I was. In fact, the photographer, Amelia Troubridge, was fantastic. I told her my conditions, “I want to be sitting. My stomach HAS to be hidden. Focus on my legs.” and she found a way to make all four of us look amazing. The other girls were Deborah Flemming from Pistol Panties, Tara Matthews wearing her own line, and Louis Middleton from Shanghai Tang.

The ES Magazine spread.

The shoot came out the following week and I bought 15 copies of the magazine. It looked ok, in fact I was quite relieved. The result could have been much, much worse. I also got quoted from the article in the WGSN press bulletin, which Emma says was a huge coup, as they normally quote people like Karl Lagerfeld and Britney Spears. Now I was known as the swimwear designer who said “I haven’t been in a pool for years. I just lounge next to them; you can’t wear heels in a pool.” Not a bad mantra at all, maybe something for my gravestone.

There are a lot of things I miss about the UK (and a lot of things I don’t!) but one thing I defintely long for is the newspaper supplements.

For those of you that don’t know about how UK newspapers work, I’ll give you a bit of background info. The UK is pretty unique in that it has four daily broadsheet newspapers (and that’s not counting at least six crappy daily tabloid newspapers.)  They are The Times, The Guardian, The Independant, and The Telegraph. I think the high number of papers has to do with its dense population. The newspaper you read says a lot about the person you are, and you generally don’t read a newspaper that doesn’t match your political views or opinions. The only exception to this rule is the supplements.

The supplements are the lovely little magazines that come free with the newspapers on Saturdays or Sundays. The magazines have various subjects, some are focused on current affairs, others are mini fashion magazines, and you also get monthly music or food supplements. They are great little publications, short and easy to read, and better than most fashion magazines.

From left to right: Guardian Weekend Magazine, Observer Woman Magazine, The Telegraph's Stella Magazine and The Sunday Times Style Supplement.

Anyway, I miss those little magazines, and was very excited when my cousin came back from London a few weeks ago, and brought me a whole pile of supplement magazines. In fact, I have been reading them slowly, so I can savour and enjoy them. (Even though some are as old as September. Whatever, it’s still new to me.)

ES Magazine (a weekly magazine that comes with the Evening Standard newspaper on Fridays) had a London Best Dressed list, and I thought it was worth a mention. These were the 20 women on their list.

1. Freida Pinto
2. Sienna Miller
3. Dasha Zhukova
4. Rosie Huttington-Whiteley
5. Jemima Khan
6. Sam Taylor-Wood
7. Natalia Vodianova
8. Kate Moss
9. Thandie Newton
10. Stella McCartney
11. Julia Restoin-Roitfeld
12. Lily Donaldson
13. Agyness Deyn
14. Tilda Swinton
15. Emma Watson
16. Peaches Geldof
17. Daphne Guinness
18. Alice Dellal
19. Andrea Riseborough
20. Alexa Chung

I didn’t quite understand this list, its obviously not just English people, as as far as I know not just people who live in London, because I thought Julia Restoin-Roitfeld lived in New York. Anyway, here are my comments…

1st PLACE Frieda Pinto, actress. She is fabulous. Even though I thought Slumdog Millionaire was overrated, and I am disgusted to see that some of the child stars from the film are still living in slums, she always looks great and totally deserves this. Image source.

2nd PLACE Sienna Miller, actress and now fashion designer. Boring, she was fashionable five years ago when we were boho. She hasn’t changed her look, isn’t exactly what we call inspiring, and although maybe deserves a spot on this list, not a top spot. Image source.

3rd PLACE Dasha Zhukova, editor of Pop magazine. Yes, she looks good, but is it hard to dress well when your boyfriend is a Russian bazillionaire? With that much money, there is no excuse. Image source left and right.

8th PLACE Kate Moss, model. She deserves some sort of hall of fame spot for dressing well, but I haven’t seen her do anything interesting in the last year. In fact, poor thing, she is getting old, and I’m afraid she may be just not be as exciting as she used to be. Image source.

11th PLACE Julia Restoin-Roitfeld, daughter of famous person. How hard is it to dress well if your Mom (Carine Roitfeld, editor of French Vogue) is one of the best dressed women in the world, and probably gets free clothes from all the good luxury brands? I feel sorry for Carine’s kids, it would be hard to be in the shadow of a mother like that. Both are trying to do things, but since neither has a real job (or formal training as far as I know) they both look like they are “Carine’s kids doing fashion stuff.” Image source right and left with her mother and brother.

13th PLACE Agyness Deyn, model. Well, she definitely has her own style, but as far as I am concerned, its terrible. Image source left and right.

14th PLACE Tilda Swinton, actress. Thank you Tilda for not being predictable, for not wearing makeup and for being so un-Hollywood and so fabulous. Image source, left and right.

15th PLACE Emma Watson, actress. I am bored of her too. She always looks nice, yes, but I imagine she has never put together her own outfit, so I don’t think she deserves any style awards just yet. Its hard to dress badly when you are given piles of free Burberry and Chanel. Maybe when she is out of her teens and begins to get her own personal style… This Youtube video from the Burberry channel makes her look a bit flaky and not very smart. I can’t comment on her acting skills since I don’t watch wizard movies that aren’t full of good looking guys (Lord of the Rings vs Harry Potter.) Image source.

I laughed so hard when I read this text.

16th PLACE Pixie Geldof, daughter of famous person. This is wrong, so wrong, and I think this image and comment from Go Fug Yourself sums is all up.

17th PLACE Daphne Guinness, heiress. Fabulous, I love her, and here’s an example of a filthy rich woman who buys fantastic clothing and has amazing personal style. There aren’t many of those. Image source.